Not an Angry Rant #48: Something different.

I haven't written up here in a long time.

I haven't being paying close attention to the news as of late - well, not enough to be able to actually form a solid, thought out, well-developed opinion piece. I guess it's because I moved from a position where I could actively follow and comment on things every day - something that I wanted to turn into my career, but things didn't work out. I wanted to get into journalism, you know, be a writer, writing cool stories about cool things for lots of people to read and think "hey, that's pretty cool".

Unfortunately, I don't think life can turn out the way you plan it - think of yourself as a captain trying to steer a boat through a storm in the middle ocean - without a rudder - that's life.

Although, my boat is missing a Tiger. Dayum.  

I not sure how many of you went to university or are doing post-grad studies. The whole idea behind Universities presenting the organization as elitist ones is something that I could not quite get my head around - so that's the idea that everyone is equal but only the people who teach and get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to, or the kids straight out of university who borrow 45k from the government to perpetuate this idea further, can actually discern what is and isn't equal.

I can remember very clearly my graduation - the robes, $95 to hire, the alphabetical order, the weird gowns worn by all of the university's most senior people. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be Harry Potter-esque place, but when the whole ceremony turned into some lecturer about their LACK of funding, my ears pricked up.

So you study communications, you end up getting a job in sales, then you end up working your arse off doing something you didn't study, with people you never wanted to work with, and head down in a boring job you slowly begin to get better at - all the while, still paying the tuition fees for a degree and the dream job of yours that never eventuated. So after all of this, your passions slowly begin to get further and further away from you - all those "opportunities" that were promised to you never happen, you just become another hound for "The Man".

What I want to figure is how we tip over from that place that we feel that we are stuck in now, to where we want to be. Is it hard work? Persistence? Some other third thing? WHO KNOWS! All I know is that I'm still climbing that mountain and I need to get to the top before I begin the awesome slide down towards a career that is actually interesting and means something.

What I imagine the slide will be like.

What's funny is that I'm currently writing this within the walls of my new office sounded by a mountain of paper - I have two computer screens, one a laptop and cable feeding to a monitor so I can have a dual screen set up. I'm sitting inside because outside feels like a sauna, wondering what exactly I want to do with my life. How many people just sit and think about this? I lean back on this high-backed leather chair and wonder how the fuck I ended up here, when two years ago I was so adamant on back-packing across the world and seeing everything with no end date - yet, here I sit, trying to find a reason as to why this hasn't happened yet. Perhaps that was just an ignorant old self of my that I'm struggling to let go - there's a part in everyone that never wants to be tied down to career that they have no interest in - but at the same time, you know that without, life would be very difficult. At this stage I'm not sure what's worse - being told you can do anything you want because you've been to university, surrounded by a bunch of hipsters from Newtown OR the realization that everything you were actually taught growing up was more important and at no point ever set you up for failure or disappointment.

What's ironic is that I just realized this turned into a rant - how humorous. Perhaps my passions aren't dead after all.

Don't believe the lies and spin.
JM